Miranda: English II, Section F

The Importance of Asking…Why?

I wake up. I press the button on my alarm that lets me sleep for 4-minute increments until I finally get myself out of bed and turn off my alarm clock. I take off my covers, and climb down the ladder. I go to the bathroom, put on my clothes, brush my hair, and wash my face. I put on sun block, take my socks from the stool in the bathroom, and go upstairs. Then I sit down at my desk and do my homework. Most days, I eat my breakfast while I work. Some days I don’t eat my breakfast at all. Other days, I eat some while I work and take the rest to school with me. Then my parents tell me to pack up. I run downstairs, pack up my clothes for track, pack my rolling backpack with my textbooks, my backpack with what I need for the first few periods, my track bag, and put these bags and my lunchbox by the door. Then I brush my teeth, and jump in the car with my bags. Then my dad drives my sister and I to school. We usually leave late, which is, more often than not, my fault. When we get there, the bell is ringing and the security guard in the front is yelling, “let’s go ladies!” I jump out of the car, grab my bags and say, “I love you” to my dad. I run through the front gates, rush to advisory, and tell Mr. Krewatch that I am here. After two minutes of waiting in the room for the second bell to ring, I am vaguely aware of a nagging feeling that I should be working on my homework, or studying, or doing something “productive,” but then the bell rings, and it’s too late anyway. I rush off to first period, which, on the first day of the rotation is Chemistry. Chemistry notes. Yeah. Then I have C period, some days it is singing special studies with Mr. Scarbrough, some days it is free. I have free at D too, which I always work all the way through, unless I have a meeting with a teacher. At E period, APUS, I hope he doesn’t collect chapter notes. Then I would probably have lunch. If I don’t have a meeting, then I glance out at the glistening green grass of the field and vibrant faces of people laughing and enjoying lunch with their friends. Then I disappointedly retreat to a classroom to work through lunch. At F, English, I prepare my brain for a discussion of Zoot Suit or other American Literature. G: Free, or in other words, a 45 minute study hall. H: Spanish III Honors: Most days we do current event reading, AP listenings, and go over the homework from the night before. I: Precalculus. I hope I understand the notes, otherwise my homework will be impossible. The bell rings, I rush to the restroom to change for track. Hopefully the big stall is open, I always feel cramped in the little stalls. I change, put my hair in a ponytail, and change into my running shoes. At practice I run, or high jump, and then I go home. On Monday and Wednesday I have soccer afterward, and then I get home at 8:30 p.m. I finish my work, take a bath or shower, and go to bed. I look forward to going to bed all day. Usually, from the moment I wake up, I want to go back to sleep. I love feeling safe and not stressed, and feeling warm and comfortable under my covers. Sometimes I pull the covers all the way over my head, as if to hide from the stress and the pressure. But then I get up the next morning and go through the same routine. What I have failed to ask myself before now is…why do I do this to myself? Why do I do the same thing everyday? I focus on trying to get through each day, and do my best at everything. Is it because of the achievement bound society that I live in? Is it the college mentality that many people have? I don’t know what college I want to go to. I don’t know anything about what college I want to go to. I don’t know what I want to major in, or what job I want to have. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. But I accept this rigorous daily schedule each day, for what? I guess to prepare myself for a better future, to do the best I can now so that I will have a head start later in life, because I worked so hard. I don’t know. I am sure that many of you have similar daily schedules like me, or maybe even more rigorous and stressful. Why do we do this to ourselves you guys? Why have I been stuck in this cycle of trying to do better at everything? Why have I never questioned the system, this cycle that we are stuck in day in and day out? Maybe because I am scared of my unknown future, and it is easier to deal with getting through each day than to question why I do things. Maybe I know I can’t escape from this cycle, and I think that if I try I’ll just make things worse.

            After high school, hopefully we will all go to college, and then some of us will go to medical school, or get a PhD., then we’ll get a job, and then we’ll get a better job, and then we’ll get an even better job, and then we’ll get a better job than that job and so on and so forth. In our society we are always trying to improve or do better, if you take a break, or try to escape from the system, it seems like you just fall flat on your face, you have to start back at square one. How did our society get like this? How is it possible that we get negatively affected by taking a simple break? And why don’t we question the way our society is? I think it is because we think that if we defy the system, then we will lose something, like our job, or money, a grade on a test, precious time to work hard and do better. I am scared to question the system for fear of what will happen if I do. Why have I never asked myself, why do I do this to myself? Because it seems like there is no other way. If I want to succeed, everyone says I have to get a good education, and do well in school. I feel like I have no choice than but to go along with the system. It’s not that I want to be the best, it’s that that is what expected of me. Who expects that of me? Society, I guess. Who says, you have to keep pushing until you get to the top? I think it is the American mentality, which seems to encourage us not to be satisfied with what we have. It’s as if this cycle is some crazy never ending circus, and you have to keep jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop to get to the next level, and the next level, and the next level, and then what? Get to an even higher level, I guess.

What I am trying to get across to you guys, is that, even though we live in this society that is so achievement bound and it seems like people are never satisfied with what they have, it is important to question the system. Ask yourself, why do I do this to myself everyday? In this stressful society, I lost track of my dreams, I don’t even know if I have dreams, or what they are if I do. At least, if I haven’t lost track of my dreams, I don’t think about them on a daily basis, because I am too busy trying to get through each day. But now, I know that I have some power over this crazy society, we all do, in fact, I think it is even a responsibility, to question society, even defy it. It seems like society or the cycle, or whatever the THING is that tells us that we have to do our best and go through these stressful daily routines is trying to get us stuck in this cycle, without hope, and stressed out. We didn’t have a choice to be thrust into this society, but we have the opportunity to defy it. Because do you know what is even scarier than losing track of your dreams? Losing track of your self. We live in this cycle, I know I for one, am stuck in it, we take things for granted, we think that this path through life is what we should be doing. No. We have to figure some things out for ourselves, we need to figure out our dreams and take time out of each day to think about them. We can’t just accept living one way or another. We need to question things, defy them sometimes, otherwise, guys, we’ll lose a sense of who we are, our individual identities, and personalities. Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the big picture. Hey, guys, we’re alive, we should be happy just for that, and the fact that we are blessed to be living in this world, in this time, in this place. If you take one thing away from this speech, love life, love who you are, hold on to the things you love, and definitely don’t be afraid to question things. Because sometimes it seems like trying harder and doing better are the only things that matter, but that is not true, and I think we all know that deep, deep down.