Miranda: English II, Section F

The Importance of Asking…Why?

I wake up. I pressthe button on my alarm that lets me sleep for 4-minute increments until Ifinally get myself out of bed and turn off my alarm clock. I take off mycovers, and climb down the ladder. I go to the bathroom, put on my clothes,brush my hair, and wash my face. I put on sun block, take my socks from thestool in the bathroom, and go upstairs. Then I sit down at my desk and do myhomework. Most days, I eat my breakfast while I work. Some days I don’t eat mybreakfast at all. Other days, I eat some while I work and take the rest toschool with me. Then my parents tell me to pack up. I run downstairs, pack upmy clothes for track, pack my rolling backpack with my textbooks, my backpackwith what I need for the first few periods, my track bag, and put these bagsand my lunchbox by the door. Then I brush my teeth, and jump in the car with mybags. Then my dad drives my sister and I to school. We usually leave late,which is, more often than not, my fault. When we get there, the bell is ringingand the security guard in the front is yelling, “let’s go ladies!” I jump outof the car, grab my bags and say, “I love you” to my dad. I run through thefront gates, rush to advisory, and tell Mr. Krewatch that I am here. After twominutes of waiting in the room for the second bell to ring, I am vaguely awareof a nagging feeling that I should be working on my homework, or studying, ordoing something “productive,” but then the bell rings, and it’s too lateanyway. I rush off to first period, which, on the first day of the rotation isChemistry. Chemistry notes. Yeah. Then I have C period, some days it is singingspecial studies with Mr. Scarbrough, some days it is free. I have free at Dtoo, which I always work all the way through, unless I have a meeting with ateacher. At E period, APUS, I hope he doesn’t collect chapter notes. Then Iwould probably have lunch. If I don’t have a meeting, then I glance out at theglistening green grass of the field and vibrant faces of people laughing andenjoying lunch with their friends. Then I disappointedly retreat to a classroomto work through lunch. At F, English, I prepare my brain for a discussion ofZoot Suit or other American Literature. G: Free, or in other words, a 45 minutestudy hall. H: Spanish III Honors: Most days we do current event reading, APlistenings, and go over the homework from the night before. I: Precalculus. Ihope I understand the notes, otherwise my homework will be impossible. The bellrings, I rush to the restroom to change for track. Hopefully the big stall isopen, I always feel cramped in the little stalls. I change, put my hair in aponytail, and change into my running shoes. At practice I run, or high jump,and then I go home. On Monday and Wednesday I have soccer afterward, and then Iget home at 8:30 p.m. I finish my work, take a bath or shower, and go to bed. Ilook forward to going to bed all day. Usually, from the moment I wake up, Iwant to go back to sleep. I love feeling safe and not stressed, and feeling warmand comfortable under my covers. Sometimes I pull the covers all the way overmy head, as if to hide from the stress and the pressure. But then I get up thenext morning and go through the same routine. What I have failed to ask myselfbefore now is…why do I do this to myself? Why do I do the same thing everyday?I focus on trying to get through each day, and do my best at everything. Is itbecause of the achievement bound society that I live in? Is it the collegementality that many people have? I don’t know what college I want to go to. Idon’t know anything about what college I want to go to. I don’t know what Iwant to major in, or what job I want to have. I don’t know what I want to dowith my life. But I accept this rigorous daily schedule each day, for what? Iguess to prepare myself for a better future, to do the best I can now so that Iwill have a head start later in life, because I worked so hard. I don’t know. Iam sure that many of you have similar daily schedules like me, or maybe even morerigorous and stressful. Why do we do this to ourselves you guys? Why have Ibeen stuck in this cycle of trying to do better at everything? Why have I neverquestioned the system, this cycle that we are stuck in day in and day out?Maybe because I am scared of my unknown future, and it is easier to deal withgetting through each day than to question why I do things. Maybe I know I can’tescape from this cycle, and I think that if I try I’ll just make things worse.

            Afterhigh school, hopefully we will all go to college, and then some of us will goto medical school, or get a PhD., then we’ll get a job, and then we’ll get abetter job, and then we’ll get an even better job, and then we’ll get a betterjob than that job and so on and so forth. In our society we are always tryingto improve or do better, if you take a break, or try to escape from the system,it seems like you just fall flat on your face, you have to start back at squareone. How did our society get like this? How is it possible that we get negativelyaffected by taking a simple break? And why don’t we question the way oursociety is? I think it is because we think that if we defy the system, then wewill lose something, like our job, or money, a grade on a test, precious timeto work hard and do better. I am scared to question the system for fear of whatwill happen if I do. Why have I never asked myself, why do I do this to myself?Because it seems like there is no other way. If I want to succeed, everyonesays I have to get a good education, and do well in school. I feel like I haveno choice than but to go along with the system. It’s not that I want to be thebest, it’s that that is what expected of me. Who expects that of me? Society, Iguess. Who says, you have to keep pushing until you get to the top? I think itis the American mentality, which seems to encourage us not to be satisfied withwhat we have. It’s as if this cycle is some crazy never ending circus, and youhave to keep jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop to get to the next level,and the next level, and the next level, and then what? Get to an even higherlevel, I guess.

What I am tryingto get across to you guys, is that, even though we live in this society that isso achievement bound and it seems like people are never satisfied with whatthey have, it is important to question the system. Ask yourself, why do I dothis to myself everyday? In this stressful society, I lost track of my dreams,I don’t even know if I have dreams, or what they are if I do. At least, if Ihaven’t lost track of my dreams, I don’t think about them on a daily basis,because I am too busy trying to get through each day. But now, I know that Ihave some power over this crazy society, we all do, in fact, I think it is evena responsibility, to question society, even defy it. It seems like society orthe cycle, or whatever the THING is that tells us that we have to do our bestand go through these stressful daily routines is trying to get us stuck in thiscycle, without hope, and stressed out. We didn’t have a choice to be thrustinto this society, but we have the opportunity to defy it. Because do you knowwhat is even scarier than losing track of your dreams? Losing track of yourself. We live in this cycle, I know I for one, am stuck in it, we take thingsfor granted, we think that this path through life is what we should be doing.No. We have to figure some things out for ourselves, we need to figure out ourdreams and take time out of each day to think about them. We can’t just acceptliving one way or another. We need to question things, defy them sometimes,otherwise, guys, we’ll lose a sense of who we are, our individual identities,and personalities. Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the bigpicture. Hey, guys, we’re alive, we should be happy just for that, and the factthat we are blessed to be living in this world, in this time, in this place. Ifyou take one thing away from this speech, love life, love who you are, hold onto the things you love, and definitely don’t be afraid to question things.Because sometimes it seems like trying harder and doing better are the onlythings that matter, but that is not true, and I think we all know that deep,deep down.